For awhile now, darkness has surrounded me. Not the darkness that you can see, but the darkness that prevents you from seeing. But recently, in a moving conversation with my girlfriend Melissa, that darkness lifted.
This blog has been demonstrative of this shroud. Only when Melissa pointed out the discrepancy between my earlier posts and those such as the Bookmark series (that I will not link to because they are not really worth your time), did I realize how far behind I had left my initial blogging intentions.
I moved from content to readers. I moved from my deepest passions to what I deemed of deepest interest. I sought to be a blogger (something I am not) rather than an inspired lover of Christ. I moved from “My Reflections for His Highest” to “A Different Summa.” In short, I moved from God to me. Or, to put it more succinctly, I moved myself to God.
I have pondered why such a change occurred and while many reasons exist, I stand convinced that one of them was inconsistency. Inconsistency in reading my Bible, inconsistency in prayer, inconsistency in having healthy, spiritual conversations with loved ones. Too often I have declared my spirituality above such repetitive necessities only to let them fall by the wayside once more.
That is my confession. Yet my vision has returned. This blog is not about me but neither is it about you. I no longer intend to write about what you might be interested in. Rather as I am confronted by Christ and share that, I pray that he confronts you too.
Jesus does not simply create content for a blog or raise interesting intellectual and theological questions. Jesus confronts the deepest parts of who we are, our fears, our failures, our pride, our strengths and shows us what love looks like. He confronts us in love and with love, overwhelming our individual sensitivities and calling us to the greater worship of his Father. He calls us to bring the Kingdom now rather than later, to bring peace to a violent world, to bring love to those who hate and to proclaim truth as he reveals it to us. Jesus calls us to a radical lifestyle, a way that transcends culture and any conceivable barrier. His way is not of this world yet has the power to transform it.
We do not just explore what it looks like to follow Christ – we follow him and taste and see and hear and smell and touch what that means. Following Christ is not merely cerebral; it does not only consist of reading the latest Christian thinkers. It is relationship; it is walking. And in the midst of that walk, he turns and confronts us. Always good, often difficult.
May I always be confronted by Christ.